Our world has changed over the past few months in a way that unites us. We’re at home with new restrictions that test our comfort zones. This is a global shift like nothing we’ve seen before. During this enthusiastic season of webinars, Zoom calls, and live videos, business has continued for many people. I love all of the ways we’re connecting and the noticeable increased value of travel that we miss so much. I’m grateful for the chance to speak to people that would otherwise be too busy to chat. There are beautiful things happening. But I’m tired and I feel bad about being tired.
Most days I am the person most enthusiastic about learning, growing, and becoming my best self. This time makes me question what “best self” really means. I feel the pressure of perfection. Did I get the proper nutrition today? What about at least 30 minutes of movement? Have I been kind and empathetic in all of my interactions? Is my response time under two hours? How was I a good wife and mother today? How many webinars did I actively attend? Did I take advantage of every hour given to me?
That’s not even the half of the questions circling my mind each day. Through my healing journey, I’ve been able to silence these doubts. However, this season is giving them a voice, again. My meditation practice has increased from twice a day to up to five times a day. How in the world am I supposed to keep up? I thought the world was slowing down.
The Globe’s Collective Trauma
While many people are working remotely for the first time, many of us have been in that practice. That doesn’t make it easier, though. I’ll admit, it did at first. But then it snuck up on us like a burglar in the night. I’m watching my husband’s work schedule continue to rock on while he’s managing our daughter’s schoolwork. (Grateful for his employment, his company, his career, and our health.) I’m building my business, taking care of clients, learning as much as I can, and now cooking even more often. And I cook regularly. I see us both exhausted in ways we weren’t before. As the days of shelter-at-home drag on, it’s tough to remember whether I bought the face soap we needed or replied to the email lurking in my inbox. Is this a symptom of something bigger or is everyone else forgetting things, too?
According to a recent New York Times article, this is just another thing we all have in common. “’We are having to process a lot more than we normally do, all at once,’ said Lisa Olivera, a marriage and family therapist based in Berkeley, Calif. ‘What we are experiencing could be considered a collective trauma, as it is impacting the entire world in ways that are at best disruptive and, at worst, deadly.’”
Becoming Our Best Selves
While the world is slowing down, it allows time for people to catch up and potentially sit in silence. What an incredible gift! Somehow we’ve created ways to be just as busy. Or for those of us who were already working remotely, we’re even busier than before. Priorities have to be set and emotional well-being is number one. We need all of the tools in our self-care toolboxes to guide us through this. Then, we can focus our learning on how to rest. What in the world is rest? Consider re-imagining “best self” as being human and being okay with that.
Brene Brown refers to this as authenticity. In The Gifts of Imperfection, she writes “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” My authentic self is caring, compassionate, and patient. She is also emotionally exhausted, in need of silence, and loses her patience when pushed to her limit. Authentic Jackie loves what yoga does for her body and mind, embraces chakra balancing and meditation, and chooses to journal for mental health. And Authentic Jackie needs to take breaks from body movement, search out comfort food, and binge watch a TV show. (Just finished Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu – big fan.) It’s all of these parts that make me whole.
Can you take the time while the world is permitting to actually slow down? I challenge you to sit in silence to find your authentic self, the human part of being your best. Then love it completely.